Facing My Fears

Tomorrow I'm having surgery.

I'm really having this surgery for myself and that's not easy to admit. I don't like to think of myself as selfish.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. But this entire experience has been about facing my fears. I'm doing something outside my comfort zone. I'm doing something very powerful for me. I'm taking controll and I'm taking a risk.

I see the surgery as another step towards Ironman, as well as building self esteem and at this point in my life I'm not sure which I value more. My self esteem is always with me but I live, sleep, and breath Ironman. It's in every area of my life. Most of my friends don't realise how much it dominates me. My boyfriend does and he's very patient and kind about it, even if he doesn't understand my desire for the race.

Aside from Ironman, I feel this surgery will help me feel comfortable in my own skin again.(And ease some back pain)

Tomorrow I will face my fear and take a risk. I'm proud of myself.